Middle Earth's Parody Songs
by Thranduil's Queen
Summary: What if the characters sing a song? A funny way to see the characters. I am bad at summaries. Updated with: Another for Aragorn and another for the Hobbits
1. Chapter 1: Legolas and Lorien Chorus

**Disclaimer:** I don't own LotR (Tolkien's heirs/state does) nor do I make money for this. The song is part of the movie Robin Hood: Men in Tights by Mel Brooks, so the song also doesn't belong to me.

You can find the song here: youtube . com /watch?v=6jaW5DtKxFE (take out the spaces)

**Original Song: Men in Tights**

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Song from the movie Robin Hood: Men in Tights, sung by Legolas and the Lorien Elves.

Elves in Tights

We're elves, we're elves in tights.  
We roam around the forest looking for fights.  
We're elves, we're elves in tights.  
We fight the orcs and protect the men, that's right!  
We may look like pixies, but watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights!  
We're elves, we're elves in tights,  
Always on guard protecting the people's lives.

We're elves, MANLY elves, we're elves in tights.  
Yes!  
We roam around the forest looking for fights.  
We're elves, we're elves in tights.

We fight the orcs and protect the men, that's right!  
We may look like pixies, but don't get us wrong or else we'll put out your lights.  
We're elves, we're elves in tights  
TIGHT Tights  
Always on guard protecting the people's lives.  
When you're in a fix just call for the elves in tights!

WE'RE BUTCH!

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A/N: It's been a while since I've written anything. College and life got crazy, now I'm able to relax and write. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy.  
Reviews are always welcome, constructive criticism is also welcome, just no insults please; we can be civil.  
Also, I'm placing here a list of the following chapters original songs, just to make things a bit easier and you guys know which song it is:

Chapter 2, Arwen: Original song is _Beautiful Stranger, by Madonna_  
Chapter 3, Sauron: Original song is _Get the Party Started, by Pink_  
Chapter 4, Eowyn: Original song is _Frozen, by Madonna_  
Chapter 5, Frodo: Original song is _Yesterday, by The Beatles_  
Chapter 6, Gollum: Original song is _Every Breath You Take, by The Police_  
Chapter 7, Boromir: Original song is _New York, New York, by Frank Sinatra_  
Chapter 8, Faramir: Original song is _Uptown Girl, by Westlife_  
Chapter 9, Aragorn: Original song is _Blue Collar Man, by Styx_


	2. Chapter 2: Arwen

******Disclaimer:**  
The song 'Beautiful Stranger' belongs to Madonna. Everything from Lord of the rings belongs to Tolkien…No money made, not mine.

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**Original song name:** Beautiful Stranger, by Madonna  
**Parody Name:** Beautiful Ranger, sung by Arwen

* * *

Haven't we met  
You're some kind of beautiful ranger  
You could be good for me  
I have a taste for danger  
If I'm smart then I'll go away  
But I'm not so I guess I'll stay  
Heaven forbid  
I take my chance on a beautiful ranger

I looked into your eyes  
And my world came tumbling down  
You're a Maiar in disguise  
That's why I'm singing this song  
To know you is to love you

You're everywhere I go  
And everybody knows  
To love you is to be part of you  
I pay for you with tears  
And father got all mad

Dah-dah-dah-de dah-de-dah-de dah dah dah-dah-dum  
Beautiful ranger  
Dah-dah-dah-de dah-de-dah-de dah dah dah-dah-dum  
Beautiful ranger

If I'm smart then I'll run away  
But I'm not so I guess I'll stay  
Haven't you heard  
I fell in love with a beautiful ranger

I looked into your face  
My father was screaming all over the place  
I'd like to change his point-of-view  
If I could just forget about you  
To know you is to love you

You're everywhere I go  
And everybody knows

I looked into your eyes  
And my world came tumbling down  
You're a Maiar in disguise  
That's why I'm singing this song to you  
To know you is to love you

You're everywhere I go  
And everybody knows  
I pay for you with tears  
And father got all mad

Dah-dah-dah-de dah-de-dah-de dah dah dah-dah-dum  
Beautiful ranger  
Dah-dah-dah-de dah-de-dah-de dah dah dah-dah-dum  
Beautiful ranger

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A/N: I decided to get off my butt and fix somethings in the chapters, like the songs used and the artist at the begining of the chapter to prevent confusion. Since I didn't do it when I was newbie here.  
So, let me know if you like them. Thank you for reading, reviews and criticism are always welcome.


	3. Chapter 3: Sauron

**Disclaimer:**  
The song belongs to Pink, and everything from Lord of the Rings belongs Tolkien. In other words: Not mine and I don´t make money from this.

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**Original song name:** Get the Party Started, by Pink  
**Parody name:** Get the War Started, sung by Sauron

* * *

I'm coming now so you better get the war started  
I'm coming now so you better get the war started

Get the war started on a starless night  
Everybody's trembling 'cause I'm to arrive  
Sending out the message to my evil friends  
We'll be looking flashy in the Nazgul's Benz  
I got lots of power check my gold shiny ring  
I will go for Rohan if you know what I mean

Pumping up the chaos breaking down Helm's Deep  
Cruising through the Fangorn we'll be crashing the scene  
Everybody's freaking as I'm coming back now  
I'll be burning houses you'll be kissing my _eye_  
Going now to Gondor freaking out everyone  
License plate says Maiar #1 Superbad

I'm coming now so you better get the war started  
I'm coming now so you better get the war started

Making out the war as I watch from the skies  
everybody's fighting as I send more troops  
Pumping up my forces with this brand new orc  
Everybody's fighting and they're fighting for me  
I'm your conqueror you will run very fast  
I'll be your connection to a torturous life

I'm coming now so you better get the war started  
I'm coming now so you better get the war started

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**A/N: **Hope you guys like it. Reviews and criticism are always welcome, thank you for reading and enjoy.


	4. Chapter 4: Eowyn

**Disclaimer:**  
The song belongs to Madonna, LotR belongs to Tolkien. Not mine, no money made.

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**Original song name:** Frozen, by Madonna  
**Parody name:** Frozen, sung by Éowyn.

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You only see what your eyes want to see  
How can you love an elf instead of me  
I'm frozen  
'Cause your heart's not open  
You're so consumed with how much you love her

You waste your time daydreaming again  
I'm broken  
'Cause your heart's not open

Mmmmmm, if I could melt your heart  
Mmmmmm, we'd never be apart  
Mmmmmm, give yourself to me  
Mmmmmm, I'll be your queen

Now there's no point in fighting for her  
And you should know I suffer the same  
If I lose you  
My heart will be broken

Arwen's an elf, she need to sail  
I'll let all the hurt inside of me die  
I'm frozen  
'Cause your heart's not open

_[chorus]_  
_[verse]_  
_[chorus, repeat]_

If I could melt your heart

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** A/N:** Hope you guys enjoy, reviews and criticism are always welcome. Thank you for reading.


	5. Chapter 5: Frodo

**Disclaimer:**  
Not mine, no money made. The song belongs to the Beatles and Lotr to Tolkien.

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**Original song name:** Yesterday, by The Beatles  
**Parody name:** Yesterday sung by Frodo

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Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away  
Now it looks as though they're here to stay  
Oh, I believe in yesterday

Suddenly, I'm not half the hobbit I used to be  
There's a Shadow hanging over me.  
Oh, the One Ring came suddenly

Why he had to go I don't know he wouldn't say  
Uncle did something wrong, now I long for yesterday

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play  
Now I need a place to hide away  
Oh, I believe in yesterday

Why he had to go I don't know he wouldn't say  
Uncle did something wrong, now I long for yesterday

Yesterday, the Shire was a nice place to stay  
Now I need to run away  
Oh, I believe in yesterday  
Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm

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**A/N:** Hope you guys enjoy, reviews and criticism are always welcome. Thank you for reading.


	6. Chapter 6: Gollum

**Disclaimer:**  
Not mine, no money made. The song belongs to The Police and LotR belongs to Tolkien.

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**Original song name: **Every breath you take, by The Police  
**Parody name:** Every breath you take, sung by Gollum

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Every breath you take  
And every move you make  
Every vow you break, every step you take  
I'll be watching you

Every sssingle day  
And every word you sssay  
Every road you take every place you stay  
I'll be watching you

Oh can't you see  
It belongsss to me  
How my poor hear achesss  
With every ssstep you take  
Every move you make  
Every word you break  
Every pipe you sssmoke, every drink you take  
I'll be watching you

Sssince preciousss gone I've been lost without a trace  
I dream at night I only see it'sss round  
I've been around but it's IT I can't replace  
I feel ssso cold and I long for preciousss  
I've been crying Massster, massster pleassse

Oh can't you see  
It belongsss to me  
How my poor hear achesss  
With every ssstep you take  
Every move you make  
Every word you break  
Every pipe you sssmoke, every drink you take  
I'll be watching you  
Every move you make  
Every drink you take  
I'll be watching you  
I'll be watching you

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**A/N:** Hope you guys enjoy, reviews and criticism are always welcome. Thank you for reading.


	7. Chapter 7: Boromir

**Disclaimer:**  
Not mine, no money made. The song belongs to Frank Sinatra, LotR belongs to Tolkien.

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**Original song name:** New York, New York, by Frank Sinatra  
**Parody name:** Gondor, Gondor, sung by Boromir

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I know a place  
I left it today  
I'm proud to be part…  
Gondor, Gondor

This lovely place  
I'm longing in to stay  
Right in my very heart is it...  
Gondor, Gondor

I always wake up in City  
That always fights  
And yes I fight in the Hill  
Top of the fight

This Gondor pride  
Is melting away  
I'll help it make it right  
In old Gondor

If the Ring makes it there  
I'll take it away  
It's up to me  
Gondor, Gondor!

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**A/N:** Hope you guys enjoy, reviews and criticism are always welcome. Thank you for reading.


	8. Chapter 8: Faramir

**Disclaimer:**  
Not mine, no money made. The song belongs to its owner (I'm not sure who that is), Lotr belongs to Tolkien.

* * *

**Original song name:** Uptown Girl, Westlife version.  
**Parody name:** Rohan Girl sung by Faramir

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Rohan girl, she's been living in a horse bred world  
I bet she never had a Gondor guy  
I bet her uncle never told her why

I'm gonna try for a Rohan girl  
She's been living in a horse bred word  
As long as anyone with patience can  
And now she's looking for a Gondor man  
That's what I am

And when she knows  
What she wants from her time  
And when she heals up  
And makes up her mind

She'll see I'm not so though  
Just because I'm in love with a Rohan girl  
Elessar's seen her in her horse bred world  
She's getting tired of just staying home  
And being stalked by a filthy worm  
She's got a choice

Rohan girl  
You know she's been quite depress  
And maybe some day she forgets the king  
She'll understand what kind if guy I've been  
And then I'll win

And when she's fighting  
She's looking so fine  
And when she's talking  
She'll say that she's not a man

She'll see I'm not so though  
Just because I'm in love with a Rohan girl  
She's been living in a horse bred word  
As long as anyone with patience can  
And now she's looking for a Gondor man

Rohan Girl  
She's my Rohan girl  
You know I'm in love  
With a Rohan girl

My Rohan girl  
You know I'm in love  
with a Rohan girl  
My Rohan girl  
You know I'm in love  
with a Rohan girl  
My Rohan girl

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**A/N:** Hope you guys enjoy, reviews and criticism are always welcome. Thank you for reading.


	9. Chapter 9: Aragorn

**Disclaimer:**  
Not mine, no money made. The song Blue collar man belongs to Styx, LotR belongs to Tolkien.

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**Original song name:** Blue Collar Man, by Styx  
**Parody name:** Fighting man sung by Aragorn

_Dedicated to my little sister, love you Alex.  


* * *

_Give me a sword give me security  
Give me a chance to survive  
I'm just a poor soul in the in the battlefield line  
My God I'm hardly alive  
The trolls and orcs, wargs and Sauron  
They seem to laugh in my face  
But I've got the sword and I have a skill  
I was raised by the elves

I'll take those  
Long nights impossible odds  
Keeping my eyes in the orc line  
And that takes  
All that it's just what I am  
I'm gonna be a fighting man

Give me a throne that I can't refuse  
Make me respectable man  
This is my last time in the battlefield life  
So like it or not

I'll take those  
Long nights impossible odds  
Keeping my eyes in my subjects  
All that it's just what I am  
I'm gonna be a fighting king

Keeping my mind in a castle life  
Where happiness it's only when Arwen's there  
Paradise, can it be all that Elrond has?  
I close my eyes and maybe I'm already there

I'll take those  
Long nights impossible odds  
Keeping my eyes in the orc line  
You don't understand  
I'll take those

Long nights impossible odds  
Keeping my eyes on my subjects  
Well I'm gonna be a fighting  
Gotta be a fighting  
I'm gonna be a fighting  
Man

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**A/N:** Hope you guys enjoy, reviews and criticism are always welcome. Thank you for reading.


	10. Chapter 10: Gollum part 2

**Disclaimer:** Not mine, no money made. LotR belongs to Tolkien and the song comes from Grease's soundtrack. Thus, not mine either.

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**Original Song:** You're the One that I want.  
**Parody Name: **It's The Precious We Want.  
Sung by: Gollum/Smeagol

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Smeagol:  
I got chillss, they're multiplyin', and I'm lossin' control  
Causse the power It'ss ssupplyin', it's electrifyin'

Gollum:  
You better sshape up, cause I need the Ring,  
and my heart iss sset on it  
You better sshape up, you better understand,  
to the Ring I must be true

Smeagol:  
Nothing left, nothing left for me to do

Gollum/Smeagol:  
It'ss the preciouss we wantss  
(It'ss the preciouss we wantss), ooh ooh ooh, preciouss  
Preciouss we wantss (It's the preciouss we wantss),  
ooh ooh ooh, honey  
It'ss the preciouss we wantss (It'ss the preciouss we want),  
ooh ooh ooh, honey  
The Ring I need (the Ring I need),  
oh yess indeed (yess indeed)

Gollum:  
If you're filled with obsession,  
You're too sshy to kill 'em  
Meditate the direction, plan your way

Gollum/Smeagol:  
I better sshape up,  
causse I need the Ring  
I need the Ring  
It will keep me ssatissfied  
I better sshape up, if I'm gonna prove  
You better prove, that my faith iss justified  
Are you ssure?  
Yess I'm ssure down deep insside.

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A/N: Yeah, a second song for Gollum, I couldn't resist. Hope you enjoy, reviews and criticism are always welcome.


	11. Chapter 11: Gandalf

**Disclaimer: **LotR and its characters belongs to Tolkien heirs/state, the song is intellectual property of its owners. I make no money of this, nor do I claim ownership of LotR or the song.

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**Original Song: **Rudolph, the Red Nosed Raindeer.  
**Parody Name:** Gandalf the Grey Bearded Wizard.

* * *

Gandalf the grey bearded wizard  
Had a very dirty beard  
And if you ever saw him,  
You would even say it stinks

All of the other wizards  
Used to laugh and call him names.  
They never let poor Gandalf  
Join in any wizard games.

Then one night at Fangorn  
Gandalf came to say:  
"Aragorn look at me, I'm white  
Aren't I shinny and sleek tonight?"

Then all the wizards loved him  
As they shouted out with glee,  
Gandalf the white bearded wizard,  
You'll go down in history!

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A/N: There, Gandalf's song. I hope you guys enjoy and laugh a little or a lot, reviews and criticism are always welcome.

Thanks to Wolfy for pointing that Billy Joel was the original for Uptown Girl, I just used the Westlife version. Thank you.  
xKacyx: Thank you for reviewing, I'm glad I made you laugh.


	12. Chapter 12: Elrond

Disclaimer: Not mine, no money made. The song belongs to Aqua, LotR belongs to Tolkien.

* * *

**Original Name:** Barbie Girl by Aqua  
**Parody Name:** I'm a Peredhel, sung by Elrond.

* * *

Galadriel:  
Hi Elrond

Elrond:  
Hi 'Driel!

Galadriel:  
Do you wanna sail away?

Elrond:  
Sure 'Driel!

Galadriel:  
Well, get in...

I'm a peredhel, ruling Rivendell  
In the Valley, life's fantastic  
Ringwraiths on the way and hobbits everywhere  
Dwarves are coming, Council is calling!

Come on Elrond, throw a party!

I'm a peredhel, ruling Rivendell  
In the Valley, life's fantastic  
Ringwraiths on the way and hobbits everywhere  
Dwarves are coming, Council's calling.

I'm a ruling half-elf, in the elven world  
Lost my bro*, fought Sauron in an army!

Glorfindel:  
I can ride, I can fight, I'm the best elf you've got!

Erestor:  
I am wise, I advise, shut up Glorfy!

Elrond:  
Got a ring, a few kids, was herald to a king!  
(uu-oooh-u)

I'm a peredhel, ruling Rivendell  
In the Valley, life's fantastic  
Ringwraiths on the way and hobbits everywhere  
Dwarves are coming, Council is calling!

Come on Elrond, throw a party!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on Elrond, throw a party!  
(uu-oooh-u)  
Come on Elrond, throw a party!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on Elrond, throw a party!  
(uu-oooh-u)

You can walk, you can talk, do whatever you please  
Raised Estel**, what a brat, now he wants Arwen's kids!  
Be my guest, dear friend you'll come here again!  
Last House to the West, you can party!  
Got a ring, a few kids, was herald to a king!  
Got a ring, a few kids, was herald to a king!

Come on Elrond, throw a party!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on Elrond, throw a party!  
(uu-oooh-u)  
Come on Elrond, throw a party!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on Elrond, throw a party!  
(uu-oooh-u)

I'm a peredhel, ruling Rivendell  
In the Valley, life's fantastic  
Ringwraiths on the way and hobbits everywhere  
Dwarves are coming, Council is calling!

I'm a peredhel, ruling Rivendell  
In the Valley, life's fantastic  
Ringwraiths on the way and hobbits everywhere  
Dwarves are coming, Council is calling!

Come on Elrond, throw a party!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on Elrond, throw a party!  
(uu-oooh-u)  
Come on Elrond, throw a party!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on Elrond, throw a party!  
(uu-oooh-u)

Elrond:  
Oh, I'm having so much fun!

Galadriel:  
Well Rondy, we're just getting started

Galadriel:  
Oh, how awesome 'Driel!

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A/N: A few things: *Elrond's brother, Elros choose to be mortal  
**Estel is the elven name given to Aragorn and on the Arwen's kids, originally said Arwen's hand, it just didn't fit well, so I changed it.  
Hope you guys enjoy, reviews and criticism are always welcome. Thank you for reading.


	13. Chapter 13: Legolas

**Disclaimer: **LotR characters and situations belong to Tolkien heirs/state. The song belongs to Joan Jett and The Blackhearts. I claim no ownership nor do I make money of this.

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**Original Song: **I love Rock 'n' Roll by Joan Jett and The Blackhearts  
**Parody Name: **I love Archery sung by Legolas

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**"I Love Archery"**

I saw the new bow and I started to drool  
Give me new arrows or I'll look like a fool  
Yeah, mine was gettin' old  
Give me one with gold  
An' I could tell it wouldn't be long  
'Till I had to shoot, yeah shoot  
An' I could tell it wouldn't be long  
'Till I had to shoot, yeah shoot

I love archery  
So give me another arrow, baby  
I love archery  
So come and give another orc to kill  
Ow!

Eomer got mad when asked for his name  
That don't matter, he said,  
'Cause it's all the same

Said we're hunting orcs, just leave us alone

Next Gimli messed up  
Dwarf's with me, yeah me

Next Gimli messed up  
Dwarf's with me, yeah me, singin'

I love archery  
So give me another arrow, baby  
I love archery  
So come and give another orc to kill  
Ow!

Said we're hunting orcs, just leave us alone

Next Gimli messed up  
Dwarf's with me, yeah me  
Next Gimli messed up  
An' singin' that same old song  
Yeah with me, singin'

I love archery  
So give me another arrow, baby  
I love archery  
So come and give another orc to kill

I love archery  
So give me another arrow, baby  
I love archery  
So come and give another orc to kill

I love archery  
So give me another arrow, baby  
I love archery  
So come and give another orc to kill  


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**A/N: **Finally! I wrote one for Legolas, I swear he was mocking me. But he is no match for the awesomeness of Joan Jett. As always reviews and criticism are always welcome. Thank you for reading, hope you guys enjoy!


	14. Chapter 14: Haldir

**Disclaimer: **LotR characters and situacions belong to Tolkien heirs/state. The song belongs to Jimmy Webb and the parody to "Weird Al" Yankovic. I make no money of these nor do I claim ownership.

Jurassic Park video here: youtube . com /watch?v=phPZqKHWV6w  
Remove the spaces.

* * *

**Original Song: **MacArthur's Park by Jimmy Webb/ Jurassic Park by Weird Al  
**Parody Name: **Helms Deep sung by Haldir.

* * *

**"Helms Deep"**

I recall the time they were common orcs  
That's before Saruman joined the dark side  
Now I'm being shot by some irate uruk-hais  
Well, believe me... this has been one lousy day

Helms Deep is creepy in the dark  
All the uruk-hais are running wild  
Someone blew the fence off in the rain  
I admit it's kinda eerie  
But this proves that men are weaklings  
And I don't think I'll be coming back again  
On no

I cannot approve of Peter Jackson*  
'Cause getting slashed down always makes me kinda mad  
A huge bomb blew down the wall  
Well, I suppose that proves... Saruman's smart

Helms Deep is creepy in the dark  
All the the uruk-hais are running wild  
Someone let uruks in the Helm  
I'm afraid those things'll harm me  
'Cause they sure don't act like Gimli  
And they think that I'm their dinner, not their friend  
Oh no

Helms Deep is creepy in the dark  
All the the uruk-hais are running wild  
What a crappy weekend this has been  
Well, Galadriel's gonna get it  
Think I'll tell her where to stick it  
'Cause I'm never coming back this way again  
Oh no... oh no

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**A/N: ***This is due Haldir dying in the movie, in the book he never does nor does he fight at Helms Deep.**  
**As always reviews and criticism are always welcome. Thank you for reading! Hope you guys enjoy!


	15. Chapter 15: Frodo part 2

**Disclaimer:  
**LotR belongs to Tolkien's heirs/state; the song belongs to Britney Spears. I make no money and claim no ownership.

* * *

**Original song Name: **Toxic, by Britney Spears  
**Parody Name:** Evil, sung by Frodo

**

* * *

**

****

**Evil, sung by Frodo.**

Sauron, can't you see  
I'm crying  
A villain like you  
Should wear a warning  
You're dangerous  
I'm hiding

There's no escape  
This damn quest  
I need a rest  
Sauron, give me one  
You're dangerous  
I'm hiding

Too scared  
Can't come out  
Losing my head  
Sam's not around  
Gollum's bad now

With a slip of the ring  
I'm on your side  
You're evil I'm slipping under  
With a taste of a poisoned blade  
I'm frighten by you  
Don't you know that you're evil  
And I hate what you do  
Don't you know that you're evil

It's getting hard  
I can't give up  
I took a ring  
From my uncle's hands  
Slowly  
It's taking over me

Too scared  
Can't come out  
Losing my head  
Sam's not around  
Gollum's bad now

With a slip of the ring  
I'm on your side  
You're evil I'm slipping under  
With a taste of a poisoned blade  
I'm frighten by you  
Don't you know that you're evil  
And I hate what you do  
Don't you know that you're evil  
Don't you know that you're evil

With a slip of the ring  
I'm on your side  
You're evil I'm slipping under  
With a taste of a poisoned blade  
I'm frighten by you  
Don't you know that you're evil  
And I hate what you do  
Don't you know that you're evil

I'm fighting now  
your orcs now  
I have to fight them now  
I have to fight them now  
I'll fight them now  
With my sword now  
I think I'm ready now

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**A/N: **One more, I hope you guys are enjoying these parodies. As always reviews and criticism are welcome, if you have a suggestion, those are welcome too. Thank you for reading.  
And thanks to CharlotteBurke, thanks for the favorite'd.


	16. Chapter 16: Eowyn part 2

**Disclaimer: **LotR belongs to Tolkien, the song to the late Michael Jackson. Not mine nor do I make money from this.

A small tribute to the late Michael Jackson, rest in peace, Michael.

* * *

**Original song name: **Thriller, by Michael Jackson**  
Parody Name: **Grima sung by Eowyn

* * *

It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark  
Under the moonlight, I saw a sight that almost stopped my heart  
I tried to scream but terror took the sound before I made it  
I started to freeze as horror looked me right between the eyes  
I'm paralyzed

'Cause he is Grima, Grima's bad  
My brother's not around to save me from this guy  
Oh God it's Grima, Grima's bad  
I'm running for my life inside my uncle's, uncle's halls

I heard the door slam and realize there's nowhere left to run  
I felt a cold hand and wonder if the guy would ever die  
I closed my eyes and hope that this is just imagination, damn!  
But all the while I heard the bastard creeping up behind  
I'm out of time

'Cause he is Grima, Grima's bad  
I can't help but to hide either in halls or in a stall, boy!  
Grima, Grima's bad  
I'm hiding from his eyes inside my uncle's, uncle's hall

Nightly he's calling, wants to go dance in a masquerade  
There's no escaping the eyes of the guy this time  
(They're open wide)  
I'm doomed for life

He's out to get me, there's spies closing in on every side  
He wants to marry me unless my brother comes back  
Now is the time for Aragorn to come and save me, yeah  
I won't deny, that he gives me the creeps  
I'll make you see

That he is Grima, Grima's bad  
'Cause he can scare me more than any ghost would ever dare try  
Grima, Grima's bad  
So let me hide tonight and escape a  
Grima, freaka, creeper, Grima's here tonight

'Cause he is Grima, Grima's bad  
Man, he can scare me more than any ghost would ever dare try  
Grima, Grima's bad  
So let me hide tonight and escape a scary, Grima, ow!

(He scares ya, right?)

* * *

**Author's Note: **_jedininjamellomaster_ challenged me to use a song from several, so I picked Thriller. And I had Eowyn sing it since I felt her first one was kinda crappy, so I gave her a new song.  
_Kissfromarose9:_ I just love that movie so much, I had to do it.  
_Pinheads United_: I'm working on a Glorfindel song, actually.  
Thank you for your reviews!  
And as always reviews and criticism are always welcome. Thank you for reading! Hope you guys enjoy!


	17. Chapter 17: Grima

**Disclaimer: **LotR belongs to Tolkien, the song to the late Michael Jackson. Not mine nor do I make money from this.  
A small tribute to the late Michael Jackson, rest in peace, Michael.

* * *

**Original song name: **Beat it, by Michael Jackson**  
Parody Name: **Beat it sung by Grima  
_Foreword:_ This is a song based on Grima exiling Eomer from Rohan. So, when Grima say him, he's talking about Eomer.

* * *

I thought I told him don't you ever come back here  
Don't wanna see your face, you better disappear  
There's fire in my eyes and my words are really clear  
So beat it, just beat it

You better run, you better do as I say  
I won't fight you now, I'm not a macho man  
You wanna be tough, better fight with your men  
So beat it, but you wanna fight fair

Just beat it, beat it, beat t, beat it  
You don't want to be defeated  
Your uncle doesn't want ya, nor will I fight ya  
It doesn't matter you think your right  
Just beat it, beat it  
Just beat it, beat it  
Just beat it, beat it  
Just beat it, beat it

I'm out to get you, better leave while you can  
You're cousin was a boy, you have to be a man  
You wanna stay alive, better do what I say  
So beat it, just beat it

Eowyn tried to show me that she's really not scared  
I'm playin' with your life, this ain't no truth or dare  
I'll kick you, then I'll beat you,  
And I'll tell you it's fair  
So beat it, but you wanna fight fair

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

Just beat it, beat it, beat t, beat it  
You don't want to be defeated  
Your uncle doesn't want ya, nor will I fight ya  
It doesn't matter you think your right

Just beat it, beat it, beat t, beat it  
You don't want to be defeated  
Your uncle doesn't want ya, nor will I fight ya  
It doesn't matter you think your right  
Just beat it, beat it  
Beat it, beat it, beat it

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you for the reviews, favorites and alerts guys. You made me feel loved.  
_Jedininjamellomaster: _Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it, using Thriller was surprisingly easy. I had expected that it would give me trouble, but it just wrote itself. You are in a band? Cool, I was in the school chorus. And thanks for your comments, I felt loved.  
_GalNKay: _Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reviewing!  
And as always reviews and criticism are always welcome. Thank you for reading! Hope you guys enjoy!


	18. Chapter 18: The Nazgul

**Disclaimer: **LotR belongs to Tolkien, the song belongs to Queen. Not mine nor do I make money from this.

**Original song name: **We Are the Champions, by Queen feat. Robbie Williams**  
Parody Name: **We are the Nazgûl sung by the Nazgûl

* * *

Once we were men  
From a past time  
And were corrupted  
By Sauron's rings  
He made us swear  
Now we regret  
We fell for the oldest trick in the book!  
Now we're undead!

We are the Nazgûl - the Wraiths  
And we'll keep on searching - till the end -  
We are the Nazgûl  
We are the Nazgûl  
No mercy for them  
'Cause we are the Nazgûl - of Sauron -

Went to the Shire  
We look like ghosts  
We´re now the Black Riders of the Dark Lord  
We threaten you all

We search The Ring  
For dear Sauron  
We'll hunt the hobbit all over the place  
And We're not gonna lose

We are the Nazgûl - the Wraiths  
And we'll keep on searching - till the end -  
We are the Nazgûl  
We are the Nazgûl  
No mercy for them  
'Cause we are the Nazgûl - of Sauron -

* * *

**A/N:** One more song, as always reviews and criticism are always welcome. Thank you for reading! Hope you guys enjoy!


	19. Chapter 19: Eye of Sauron

**Disclaimer: **LotR belongs to Tolkien, the song belongs to Survivor. Not mine nor do I make money from this.

**Original song name: **Eye of the Tiger, by Survivor**  
Parody Name: **Eye of Sauron… by the eye of Sauron.

* * *

Risin' up, on my Dark Tower  
Killed some men, and some elves too  
Fought Isildur and then lost my dear ring  
Damn that man and his shard of a sword

After a while, Isildur got killed  
My ring's now in Gollum's hands  
He lost it again, to a smart hobbit  
Now I just want my ring back

I'm the eye of Sauron, it's the thrill of a fight  
Sending orcs to eliminate our rivals  
And the uruk hais will stalk their prey in the night  
And I'm watchin' you all I'm the eye of Sauron

Eye to eye, out in Mordor  
Arrived a hobbit named Frodo  
He wanted to destroy my dear ring  
I can't let the small creep win!

I'm the eye of Sauron, it's the thrill of a fight  
Sending orcs to eliminate our rivals  
And the uruk hais will stalk their prey in the night  
And I'm watchin' you all I'm the eye of Sauron

Well that's it, Frodo won  
Had the guts, got the glory  
My ring fried, I'm going to cry  
End is near I think I'm going to die

I'm the eye of Sauron, it's the thrill of a fight  
Sending orcs to eliminate our rivals  
And the uruk hais will stalk their prey in the night  
And I'm watchin' you all I'm the eye of Sauron

The eye of Sauron (repeats out)...

* * *

**A/N:** This is what happens when you haven't had a proper night sleep in days, you dream of singing eyes. Yes, I'm crazy like that. As always reviews and criticism are always welcome. Thank you for reading! Hope you guys enjoy!


	20. Chapter 20: Gandalf part 2

**Disclaimer:** LotR characters and situacions belong to Tolkien heirs/state. The song belongs to Randy Brooks and was sung by Elmo and Patsy Shropshire. I make no money of these nor do I claim ownership.

* * *

**Original Name: **Granda got run over by a reindeer by **  
Parody Name:** Gandalf got run over by a Balrog sung by Sam & Frodo.

* * *

Gandalf got run over by a Balrog  
Crossing very slow in Moria's bridge.  
You can say there's no such thing as Balrogs  
But as for me and Frodo, we believe.

He'd been smoking too much weed  
And we begged him not to fight  
But he'd forgot his precious pipe  
And he staggered in to Moria's bridge

When we saw the flaming Balrog,  
It was ready to attack.  
It had horns on its forehead,  
And a flaming whip on its hand.

Gandalf got run over by a Balrog  
Crossing very slow in Moria's bridge.  
You can say there's no such thing as Balrogs  
But as for me and Frodo, we believe.

Now were all so proud of Strider  
He's been takin' this so well.  
See him in there fight the orcs  
Talk to Leggo and scream at Boromir

It's no Fellowship without Gandalf.  
We all just want to cry  
And we just can't help but wonder:  
Should we've told him Pip had the bag with the pipes?  
(_Bag with pipes_)

Gandalf got run over by a Balrog  
Crossing very slow in Moria's bridge.  
You can say there's no such thing as Balrogs  
But as for me and Frodo, we believe.

Now we are with the elves  
And they gave us what to eat  
And few gifts to ease the grief  
That would just have Gandalf cry for weed

And we told the 'Lorien elves  
"Better watch out for yourselves."  
They should never give free weed,  
To a man who talks to moths and plays with hobbits.

Gandalf got run over by a Balrog  
Crossing very slow in Moria's bridge.  
You can say there's no such thing as Balrogs  
But as for me and Frodo, we believe.

(_Sing it Frodo)_

Gandalf got run over by a Balrog  
Crossing very slow in Moria's bridge.  
You can say there's no such thing as Balrog  
But as for me and Frodo, we believe.

* * *

**A/N: **Yes I might have gone a bit overboard with the weed thing, I just couldn't resist. Blame the scene where Saruman says: Have you've been smoking to much halfing weed?  
**jedininjamellomaster: **Thanks for the info on Grima, I didn't know that. Track sounds cool and on the "Eye thing", guess you'll have to sing "Eye of Sauron" now, XD I kid, I kid. Thanks for reviewing.  
**idreamfan: **Thank you! And thanks for reviewing!  
As always reviews and criticism are always welcome. Thank you for reading, hope you guys enjoy!


	21. Chapter 21: Gimli

**Disclaimer: **LotR belongs to Tolkien's heirs/state; the song belongs to Joan Jett. I make no money and claim no ownership

* * *

**Original song Name: **Bad Reputation by Joan Jett and the Black Hearts  
**Parody Name:** Dad's Reputation sung by Gimli

* * *

I don't give a damn 'bout dad's reputation  
You're living in the past I'm new generation  
A dwarf can do what he wants to do and that's  
What I'm gonna do  
An' I don't give a damn ' bout my dad's reputation

Oh no not me

An' I don't give a damn 'bout dad's reputation  
Fighting I can help the situation  
An' I'm only doin' good  
When I'm havin' fun  
So orcs I'm gonna chop  
An' I don't give a damn  
'Bout my dad's reputation

Oh no, not me  
Oh no, not me  
I don't give a damn  
'Bout my dad's reputation  
I've never been afraid of elven population  
An' I don't really care  
If Leggo thinks I'm strange  
I ain't gonna change  
An' I'm never gonna care 'bout my dad's reputation

Oh no, not me  
Oh no, not me

Hello orcs!

An' I don't give a damn  
'Bout dad's reputation  
The world's in trouble  
Sauron's out to get us

An' everyone can say  
What they want to say  
It never gets better anyway  
So why should I care  
'Bout a dad's reputation anyway  
Oh no, not me  
Oh no, not me

I don't give a damn 'bout my dad's reputation  
You're living in the past  
I'm a new generation  
An' I only feel good  
When I hack orcs  
An' the elf can suck it anyway  
An' I don't give a damn  
'Bout my dad's reputation

Oh no, not me  
Oh no, not  
Not me, not me

* * *

**A/N:** I don't feel that this song is one of my best, the song was a bit difficult to use, but I did what I could. Hopefully it's not a terrible parody.  
**Jedininjamellowmaster:** Here's another one!  
Hope you guys enjoy, reviews and criticism are always welcome. Thank you for reading.


	22. Chapter 22: The Hobbits

**Disclaimer: **LotR belongs to Tolkien, the song belongs to Sister Sledge. Not mine nor do I make money from this.

**Original song name: **We are family by Sister Sledge**  
Parody Name: **We are the Hobbits sung by the four hobbits

* * *

We are the hobbits  
Merry, Frodo, Pippin and Me  
We are the hobbits  
Going on a quest, yay!

We are the hobbits  
Frodo, Sam, Merry and Me  
We are the hobbits  
Going on a quest, yay!

Ev'ryone can see we're together  
On the fellowship  
And we fight for our lives all together  
I won't tell no lie  
All the people around us they say  
Can they eat that much?  
Just let me state for the record  
We can out eat you all

We are the hobbits  
Merry, Pippin, Sam and Me  
We are the hobbits  
Going on a quest, yay!

We are the hobbits  
Frodo, Pippin, Merry and Me  
We are the hobbits  
Going on a quest, yay!

Fighting for our lives the Nazgul are around  
Won't lie, we're afraid of the creepy guy*  
Strider will be a king on the future  
And our quest is hard  
No we don't get depressed  
Here all of us are brave  
Have faith in the elf and his aim  
He can't be wrong  
We have Sauron's Jewel

Chorus repeat.

* * *

**A/N:** *When they met Aragorn, they hobbits were a bit afraid of him.  
One more song, as always reviews and criticism are always welcome. Thank you for reading! Hope you guys enjoy!


	23. Chapter 23: Glorfindel

**Disclaimer: **LotR belongs to Tolkien, the song belongs to its respective copyright holder (I don't know who that is), Gene Autry version used. Not mine nor do I make money from this.

* * *

**Original song name: **Here comes Santa Clause by Gene Autry**  
Parody Name: **Here comes Glorfindel.  
**Forword:** The guy deserve this one, he (some say) slays a Balrog, comes back to life and fights the Nazgul King, helps the hobbits and Aragorn and he gets cut out of the movie.  
Not cool PJ, not cool.

* * *

Here comes Glorfindel!  
Here comes Glorfindel!  
Fast in his elven steed!  
Sam and Pippin and all the hobbits  
Are yelling at him.  
Bells are ringing,  
Frodo's hurting  
All is scary and fast.  
So brace yourselves and wish him luck  
'Cause Glorfindel fights this night

Here comes Glorfindel!  
Here comes Glorfindel!  
Fast in his elven steed!  
He's got a bag that is filled with meds  
For all the hobbits  
Hear his horse jingle jangle,  
What a beautiful sight.  
So jump ahead and uncover your head  
'Cause Glorfindel comes to fight!

Here comes Glorfindel!  
Here comes Glorfindel!  
Fast in his elven steed!  
He doesn't care if you're man or elf  
He'll save you just the same

Glorfindel knows we're not good fighters  
So he'll saves us all  
So fill your hearts with hopeful cheer  
'Cause Glorfindel fights tonight!

Here comes Glorfindel!  
Here comes Glorfindel!  
Fast in his elven steed!  
He'll come around when the chimes ring out  
That's time to fight again

Peace on earth will come to all  
If we just fight Sauron's orcs  
So let's give thanks to the brave elf  
'Cause Glorfindel fights tonight!

* * *

**A/N: **So yeah, I made one for Glorfy. As always reviews and criticism are always welcome. Thank you for reading! Hope you guys enjoy!


	24. Chapter 24: Erestor

**Disclaimer:** The song "Piano Man" belongs to Billy Joel. Everything from Lord of the rings belongs to Tolkien…No money made, not mine.

* * *

**Original song name:** Piano Man, by Billy Joel  
**Parody Name:** Councilor, sung by Erestor

* * *

It's three o'clock on an afternoon  
The council's about to begin  
There's an old wizard sitting next to me  
Reaching for his pipe and his weed

He says. "'Tor can you give some advice?  
I'm not really sure what to do  
And there's danger ahead and we must achieve  
Destroy the Dark Lord Sauron's ring"

La la la, de de da  
La la, de de da da da

Chorus:  
Give us advice, you're the Councilor  
Give us advice today  
Well, we just don't know what to do  
As you might be smarted than us

Now Glorfindel is a friend of mine  
He really knows how to fight  
And he's fast with the sword or to punch your nose  
But he's not so good with advice  
He says, "'Tor, I believe I need a drink"  
With a smile he ran from this place  
"Well now Legolas will go in his place  
In the Fellowship of the Ring"

Oh, la la la, de de da  
La la, de de da da da

Now Gimli is a hard headed dwarf  
He hasn't yet pulled his axe  
And he's talking with Gloin who's his daddy  
And he will join the Nine

And Aragorn is practicing politics  
As Boromir slowly gets mad  
Yes, they're exchanging insults now  
For their pride just got involved

Chorus:  
Give us advice, you're the Councilor  
Give us advice today  
Well, we just don't know what to do  
As you might be smarted than us

It's an angry crowd for a council  
Elrond is now very mad  
'Cause he knows that we really must win  
And destroy Sauron's ring  
Black speech sounds really scary  
And Gandalf smells like weed  
And they sit again and pay attention now  
And say, "Erestor, what are they doin' here?"

Oh, la la la, de de da  
La la, de de da da da

Chorus:  
Give us advice, you're the Councilor  
Give us advice today  
Well, we just don't know what to do  
As you might be smarted than us.

* * *

A/N: For **Crimson Cupcake**, who requested an Erestor song. I tried, sweetie, I really did. Hope you like it.  
**idreamfan21:** Thank you for R & R  
**Mungojerrielovaa:** I know, not cool Arwen. Thanks for R & R

Ok, some notes:  
1.) I know that Glorfindel didn't leave the council and that I know next to nothing about Erestor. I did research, but couldn't find much so I just took a little of creative liberties.  
2.) When it says: Erestor, what are they doin' here? It refers to the Hobbits sneaking into the council meeting.

One more song, as always reviews and criticism are always welcome. Thank you for reading. And thank you for your kind reviews, alerts and favorites! Hope you guys enjoy!


	25. Chapter 25: Legolas part 2

**Disclaimer: **LotR belongs to Tolkien, the song to Christina Aguilera. Not mine nor do I make money from this.

* * *

**Original song name: **Beautiful, by Christina Aguilera**  
Parody Name: **Awesome, by Legolas

* * *

Spoken:  
Hey look at me

Every day I am awesome  
And suddenly, orcs shoot at me  
Gimli then, challenges me  
To compete and kill them

I am awesome no matter what he says  
Orcs can't shoot me down  
I am awesome fighting with my bow  
Yes, swords can't bring me down  
So don't piss me off today

All those men, they're afraid  
So consumed in all the gloom  
Trying hard to fight for their lives  
The wall is down orcs coming fast  
We must fight

I am awesome no matter what he says  
Orcs can't shoot me down  
I am awesome fighting with my bow  
Yes, swords can't bring me down  
So don't piss me off today

No matter what I do  
(No matter what I do)  
No matter what I say  
(No matter what I say)  
When Gandalf shows up  
Back up we have now

And everywhere I go  
(everywhere I go)  
I will always fight  
(I will always fight)  
Sauron won't have his way  
We will fight

I am awesome no matter what he says  
Orcs can't shoot me down  
I am awesome fighting with my bow  
Yes, swords can't bring me down  
So don't piss me off today

So don't piss me off today  
So don't piss me off today

* * *

**A/N:** For** idreamfan21**, who requested another Legolas song. Hope you like this!  
**Crimson cupcake:** So glad you enjoyed it! On the elves giving council, I think it refers to giving neutral advice so one could make the correct decision without outside influence or something like that.  
**Shipwright's Trick:** Glad you enjoyed Erestor's song. The Aragorn part is when Boromir makes the comment of Gondor needing no king, and yayayada. The number sounds cool! You can hear the song I used here: youtube . com /watch?v=se9rfWucgeY (out spaces)

And as always reviews and criticism are always welcome. Thank you for reading, thanks for the reviews and the alerts! Hope you guys enjoy!


	26. Chapter 26: Pippin

****

Disclaimer:

LotR belongs to Tolkien, the song belongs to The Beatles. Not mine nor do I make money from this.

* * *

**Original song name: **Eleanor Rigby by The Beatles**  
Parody Name: **Peregrin Took by Merry

* * *

Ah, look at all the hungry hobbits  
Ah, look at all the hungry hobbits

Peregring Took, eats a Lembas  
The Galadhrim gave to him  
Eats like a pig

Waits in the boat, with Merry for  
Another break so he can drink  
Oh he wants more

All the hungry hobbits  
They're from the Shire I know  
All the hungry hobbits  
We will eat more

Gandalf the White, shouting words  
At an ent who doesn't care  
Saruman's gone

Look at him smoking, using his pipe  
In the night when only Merry's there  
He doesn't share

All the hungry hobbits  
They're from the Shire I know  
All the hungry hobbits  
We will eat more

Ah, look at all the hungry hobbits  
Ah, look at all the hungry hobbits

Peregrin Took, sang in Gondor  
And fought along with them  
Nazgul came

Gandalf the White, wiping the blood  
From his sword as he fights in Gondor  
They all got saved

All the hungry hobbits  
(Ah, look at all the hungry hobbits)  
They're from the Shire I know  
All the hungry hobbits  
(Ah, look at all the hungry hobbits)  
We will eat more

* * *

**A/N:** One more song, as always reviews and criticism are always welcome. Thank you for reading! Hope you guys enjoy!


	27. Chapter 27: The Council of Elrond

**Disclaimer:** LotR belongs to Tolkien, the song belong to The Village People. They aren't mine and I don't make money out of this.

* * *

**Original song name:** YMCA by The Village People  
**Parody name:** Lord of the Rings by Elrond and his Council

**Foreword:** This song starts after Frodo volunteers to take the ring to Mordor.

* * *

**Elrond:  
**Frodo, are you sure about this?  
I said, Frodo, you've to destroy the One  
I said, Frodo, Sauron's ready to fight  
And it will be very tough

**Erestor:  
**Samwise, you have to go too  
I said, Samwise, and you'll cook for them all  
We'll give a pan, and I'm sure you will fight  
Many orcs in your path

**Elrond, Erestor and Glorfindel:  
**You've got to destroy the Lord of the Rings  
You've got to destroy the Lord of the Rings

You'll get into a few fights with orcs  
And you will kill them all

You've got to destroy the Lord of the rings  
You've got to destroy the Lord of the rings

You will get yourself shot, you will fight for your lives  
You might not come back

**Glorfindel:  
**Leggo, you will go in for me  
I said, Leggo, and you will agree  
I said, Leggo, just join the fellowship  
Or I will tell your king!

**Gandalf:  
**Dwarves one of you will come  
I said, Gimli, put your pride aside  
And just join them, the F. O. T. R  
I'm sure you can help us fighting

**Elrond, Erestor, Glorfindel and Gandalf:  
**You've got to destroy the Lord of the Rings  
You've got to destroy the Lord of the Rings

He has a wizard called Saruman  
And he and army of orcs

You've got to destroy the Lord of the Rings  
You've got to destroy the Lord of the Rings

You will get yourself shot, you will fight for your lives  
You might not come back…

**Elrond:  
**Aragorn, you are going to be king  
I said, Gondor needs you as a king  
Or Arwen won't marry you  
And she'll leave for Valinor

**Erestor:  
**Hey you listen there Boromir  
Listen, Boromir, listen well to me  
This guy will be your king  
Even if you like it or not

**Elrond, Erestor, Glorfindel and Gandalf:  
**You've got to destroy the Lord of the Rings  
You've got to destroy the Lord of the Rings

You'll get into a few fights with orcs  
And you will kill them all

Lord of the Rings, you've got to destroy the Lord of the Rings

Frodo, Frodo, there's no need to pass out  
Samwise, Samwise, will be at your side

Lord of the Rings, you've got to destroy the Lord of the Rings

* * *

**A/N:** The F.O.T.R, stands for Fellowship Of The Ring.  
**Crimson Cupcake:** I know, but we still elves don't we? Lol. Yeah Glorfindel & Legolas are awesome!  
**Idreamfan21:** Glad that you liked the song!  
**Oceansoul:** Glad you have fun with the songs, thanks for reviewing!  
**Chocobasse, SweetInsanity & The Singing Sharpie**, thanks for the favorites and alerts.  
As always, reviews and criticism are always welcome. Hope you guys enjoy and thank you for reading!  
And thank you for the reviews!


	28. Chapter 28: Thranduil

**Disclaimer:  
**LotR belongs to Tolkien, the song belongs to Fountains of Wayne. I make no money for this nor do I claim ownership.

* * *

**Original song name: **Stacy's Mom by Fountains of Wayne  
**Parody name:** Legolas' Dad sung by a fangirl.

* * *

Legolas' dad has got it goin' on  
Legolas' dad has got it goin' on  
Legolas' dad has got it goin' on  
Legolas' dad has got it goin' on

Legolas, can I come over later tonight? (later tonight)  
We can hang around the drinking hall (drinking hall)  
Did your dad get back from Elrond's House? (Elrond's house)  
Is he there, or is he really afraid of me? (afraid of me)

You know, I'm the biggest fan that I can be  
I'm your dad's fan, Thrandy can't you see?

Legolas' dad has got it goin' on  
He's all I want and I've stalked him for long  
Legolas, can't you see you're not the elf for me  
I know I might be wrong but I'm in love with Legolas' dad

Legolas' dad has got it goin' on  
Legolas' dad has got it goin' on

Legolas, do you remember when I crashed his room?  
Your dad came out with just a towel on (towel on)  
I can tell he was thrilled, but why did he yell? (why did he yell?)  
And the way he said, "Get the hell out of here" (out of here)

And I know that you think I'm really creepy  
But since your mom's not around, your dad could a girl like me

Legolas' dad has got it goin' on  
He's all I want and I've stalked him for long  
Legolas, can't you see you're not the elf for me  
I know I might be wrong  
But I'm in love with Legolas' dad

Legolas' dad has got it goin' on  
He's all all I want and I've stalked him for long  
Legolas can't you see you're not the elf for me  
I know I might be wrong  
(I know it might be wrong)  
I'm in love with (Legolas' dad oh oh)  
(Legolas' dad oh oh)  
I'm in love with Legolas' dad.

* * *

**A/N:** Ok, so this is song is a joke and should _not_ be taken seriously. This one is sung by a fangirl, and I know you guys know which kind fangirl.  
**Crimson Cupcake:** Here you go. Thandy's song, lucky you he has a small but talking roll on "The Hobbit".  
**Mungojerrielovaa: **Thank you.  
Well, here's another song. And as always reviews and criticism are welcome, thank you for reading and I hope you guys enjoy!  
By the way guys, I need a suggestion for Merry and Sam's song. I'm working one for Sam, but I'm open to ideas. Any ideas? Hit me with it.


	29. Chapter 29: Aragorn and Arwen

**Disclaimer: **LotR belongs to Tolkien, the song belongs to Shakira. Not mine nor do I make money from this.

**Original song name: **Whenever, wherever by Shakira**  
Parody Name: **Aragorn & Arwen

* * *

**Arwen:**

Lucky you were born as Gondor's heir so  
We could both have royal titles  
Lucky that I love a foreign land for  
The lucky fact of your existence

Baby I could travel to Gondor solely  
To see your future castle  
Never could image I would travel  
Thousand miles to marry you

**Aragorn:**

Le ro lo le lo le, Le ro lo le lo le  
Sauron I'm,  
I'm going to fight!

**Arwen:**

In Gondor, in Lorien  
We're meant to be together  
You'll be King and I your Queen  
And that's the deal my dear

**Aragorn:**

Elrond, your father  
He'll have my head cut off  
You know he has great ears  
And he's scary dear

**Aragorn:**

Lucky that I'm quick on my reflexes  
So no orc can behead me  
Sorry that Boromir died now  
Sadly he won't see Gondor's tower  
Lucky I have strong legs like my father  
To chase the evil uruks hais  
Sadly I don't have Leggo's eyes  
So I can see you from a distance

**Aragorn:**

Le ro le le lo le, Le ro le le lo le  
Sauron I'm  
I'm going to fight

**Arwen :**

In Gondor, in Lorien  
We're meant to be together  
You'll be King and I your Queen  
And that's the deal my dear

**Aragorn:**

Elrond, your father  
He'll have my head cut off  
You know he has great ears  
And he's scary dear

**Aragorn:**

Le ro le le lo le, Le ro le le lo le  
Fighting hard  
I will win

**Aragorn :**

Le ro lo le lo le lo le  
Tell me one more time  
That you'll live  
In my hometown

**Arwen**

In Gondor, in Lorien  
We're meant to be together  
You'll be King and I your Queen  
And that's the deal my dear

**Arwen:**

Imladris, Lothlorien  
You've got me head over heels  
Immortality's leaving dear  
And I really love you dear

* * *

**A/N:** One more song, as always reviews and criticism are always welcome. Thank you for reading! Hope you guys enjoy! By the way, if any of you have any suggestions for a song for either Sam or Merry, let me know. I can't guarantee I'll use it, but who knows it might get me inspired.  
And allow me to be a lady of negotiable affection by letting you guys know that I have a oneshot of Elrond ["Never Easy"], if anyone is intrested.

**Jedininjamellomaster:** Welcome back, don't apologize. If anyone understands how crazy life can be it would be me. It's been a crazy month. Glad you've enjoyed the Beatles and the Village Council… er Village People.  
**lordoftheringergottwilighted** and **Blazenaire Alda**, thanks for the fav.


	30. Chapter 30: Sam

**Disclaimer: **LotR belongs to Tolkien, the song belongs to The Beatles. Not mine nor do I make money from this.

**Original song name: **Here comes the sun by The Beatles**  
Parody Name: **Here comes Samwise

* * *

Here comes Samwise  
Here comes Samwise, here comes Samwise  
And all will be alright

Dear Sammy, Gollum's gone baddy help me buddy  
Dear Sammy, a big spider's here kill it please  
Here comes Samwise, here comes Samwise  
And all will be alright

Dear Sammy, the orcs he is fighting  
Dear Sammy, it seems like he's winning  
Here comes Samwise, here comes Samwise  
And all will be alright

Sam, sam, sam, here he comes...  
Sam, sam, sam, here he comes...  
Sam, sam, sam, here he comes...  
Sam, sam, sam, here he comes...  
Sam, sam, sam, here he comes...

Dear Sammy, I see the eagles are coming  
Dear Sammy, it seems like years since we've been home  
Here comes Samwise, here comes Samwise  
And all will be alright  
He'll be fine.

* * *

**A/N:** One more song, as always reviews and criticism are always welcome. I know, not my best work here, Beatles fans everywhere, I apologize. Thank you for reading! Hope you guys enjoy!

**Crimson Cupcake:** *throws confetti at you* Hurray! Glad you're enjoying the parodies.

**Law Pain I Reviar Mistar Aen:** Thanks for reviewing glad to know you like them. Actually I prefer songs without being parodies; it's easier for me to get inspired with just the original song.

**The Singing Sharpie:** Thank you for reviewing. I'm crazy and sleep deprived, this is what happens. Thus you guys get this crazyness.

**Oceansoul:** Thanks for reviewing; you should have seen the people in the karaoke I was when I sung several of these songs, priceless. I'm working something with Saruman, however I'm not sure how long will it take me to get it where I want it to be.

Thanks for reading and reviewing guys, it's good to know people are reading.


	31. Chapter 31: Holiday song 1

**Disclaimer: **LotR belongs to Tolkien and his state/heirs. The song "12 days of Christmas" belongs to his/her copyright holder. Not mine, not money made.

**Author's Note:** Yes, I'm messing with the holidays now. Enjoy and Happy (insert here your holiday) and New Year.

* * *

**Original song name:** 12 Days of Christmas  
**Parody name:** 12 Days of Middle Earth

On the first day of Christmas,  
I found beneath my three  
A Ring that's precious to me

On the second day of Christmas,  
I found beneath my tree  
Two evil towers,  
And a Ring that's precious to me

On the third day of Christmas,  
I found beneath my tree  
Three spawns of Elrond,  
Two evil towers,  
And a Ring that's precious to me

On the fourth day of Christmas,  
I found beneath my tree  
Four tiny hobbits,  
Three spawns of Elrond,  
Two evil towers,  
And a Ring that's precious to me

On the fifth day of Christmas,  
I found beneath my tree  
Five seeing stones  
Four tiny hobbits,  
Three spawns of Elrond,  
Two evil towers,  
And a Ring that's precious to me

On the sixth day of Christmas,  
I found beneath my tree  
Six elven lembas,  
Five seeing stones  
Four tiny hobbits,  
Three spawns of Elrond,  
Two evil towers,  
And a Ring that's precious to me

On the seventh day of Christmas,  
I found beneath my tree  
Seven dwarves a-mining,  
Six elven lembas,  
Five seeing stones  
Four tiny hobbits,  
Three spawns of Elrond,  
Two evil towers,  
And a Ring that's precious to me

On the eighth day of Christmas,  
I found beneath my tree  
Eight talking ents,  
Seven dwarves a-mining,  
Six elven lembas,  
Five seeing stones  
Four tiny hobbits,  
Three spawns of Elrond,  
Two evil towers,  
And a Ring that's precious to me

On the ninth day of Christmas,  
I found beneath my tree  
Nine evil Nazguls,  
Eight talking ents,  
Seven dwarves a-mining,  
Six elven lembas,  
Five seeing stones  
Four tiny hobbits,  
Three spawns of Elrond,  
Two evil towers,  
And a Ring that's precious to me

On the tenth day of Christmas,  
I found beneath my tree  
Ten horse lords,  
Nine evil Nazguls,  
Eight talking ents,  
Seven dwarves a-mining,  
Six elven lembas,  
Five seeing stones  
Four tiny hobbits,  
Three spawns of Elrond,  
Two evil towers,  
And a Ring that's precious to me

On the eleventh day of Christmas,  
I found beneath my tree  
Eleven elven swords,  
Ten horse lords,  
Nine evil Nazguls,  
Eight talking ents,  
Seven dwarves a-mining,  
Six elven lembas,  
Five seeing stones  
Four tiny hobbits,  
Three spawns of Elrond,  
Two evil towers,  
And a Ring that's precious to me

On the twelfth day of Christmas,  
I found beneath my tree  
Twelve evil orcs,  
Eleven elven swords,  
Ten horse lords,  
Nine evil Nazguls,  
Eight talking ents,  
Seven dwarves a-mining,  
Six elven lembas,  
Five seeing stones  
Four tiny hobbits,  
Three spawns of Elrond,  
Two evil towers,  
And a Ring that's precious to me

* * *

**The Singing Sharpie: **Crazy people FTW, right? Glad you like this. This songs originally started as karaoke night for my friends and I, so dance away! And Thanks for reviewing.  
**Arwenisawench: **Glad you like the song, there are other Beatles songs here too. Thanks for reviewing.

One more song, as always reviews and criticism are always welcome. Thank you for reading. And thank you for your kind reviews, alerts and favorites! Hope you guys enjoy!


	32. Chapter 32: Holiday song 2

**Disclaimer:** LotR belongs to Tolkien and his heirs/estate. The song "Chesnuts Roasting on an Open Fire" to his/hers copyright holder. Not mine, not money made.

**Author's Note:** Yes, I'm messing with the holidays now. Enjoy and Happy (insert here your holiday) and New Year.

* * *

**Original song name:** Chesnuts Roasting on an Open Fire  
**Parody name:** Denethor's Plight.

Denethor's roasting on an open fire;  
Faramir is covered all in oil;  
Battle cries beign yelled by the orcs  
A hobbit's in an armor, head to toes.

Everybody knows pipeweed and some ale  
Helps to keep the spirit bright  
Rohirrim with their eyes all aglow  
Will find it hard to fight today.

They know that Sauron's on his way  
He's bringing lots of uruk hais and Nazguls  
And every father's child is gonna fight  
To see if they really stand a chance.

And so I'm betting on Eowyn's way  
To kill the Nazgul King  
Frodo's on his way to Mount Doom  
Destroy the Ring, quick!

And so I'm betting on Eowyn's way  
To kill the Nazgul King  
Frodo's on his way to Mount Doom  
Destroy the Ring, quick!

* * *

One more song, as always reviews and criticism are always welcome. Thank you for reading. And thank you for your kind reviews, alerts and favorites! Hope you guys enjoy!  
Btw, I have an Lj in which I will be posting previews and other stuff that doesn't make it here. Just in case anyone's intrested, is on my profile.


	33. Chapter 33: The Hobbits part 2

**Disclaimer:** LotR belongs to Tolkien, California Dreamin' belongs to its rightful copyright holder. I claim no ownership nor do I make any money out of this.

**A/N:** Decided to have Merry have a little of more of the spotlight on this one, since he doesn't have a song yet. As always, constructive criticism and comments are welcome. Thank you for reading, hope you enjoy!

* * *

**Original Song Name:** California Dreamin' by The Mamas and The Papas  
**Parody Name:** All The Elves are Leaving, sung by The Hobbits.

**The Four Hobbits:**

All the boats are swans  
And the sky is grey  
We went for a ride  
On a summer's day

We'd be safe and warm  
If we were in Lorien  
All the elves are leaving  
On such a summer's day

**Frodo:**

We stopped in Rivendell  
It was along the way

**Sam:**

Well Elrond lives there

**Merry and Pippin:**

And he fed us well.

**Pippin:**

You know the elves are getting old

**Sam:**

Frodo will sail away

**Merry and Frodo:**

All the elves are leaving  
On such a summer's day

**The Four Hobbits:**

All the boats are swans  
And the sky is grey  
We went for a ride  
On a summer's day

**Merry:**

They leave for the West  
And they leave today

**The Four Hobbits:**

All the elves are leaving  
On such a summer's day!


	34. Chapter 34: Aragorn part 2

**Disclaimer:** LotR belongs to Tolkien, the song "A Pirate's Life's For Me" belongs to Disney. I claim no owenership nor do I make any money from this.

**A/N:** Well, I'm back. Life got a little crazy, but everything's fine now. As always, constructive criticism and comments are always welcome.  
Thank you for reading, hope you enjoy!

* * *

**Original Song Name:** A Pirate's Life for Me by Disney  
**Parody Name:** A Ranger's Life for Me by Aragorn and the Dunedain

* * *

**A Ranger's Life for Me**

Yo ho, yo ho, a ranger's life for me.  
We fight the Dark Lord and all his orcs  
Drink up, me sidekicks, yo ho.  
We are the dunedain we do give a hoot  
Drink up me sidekicks, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a ranger's life for me.  
We travel and ride, fight and protect  
Drink up, me sidekicks, yo ho  
We help the elves, wizard, hobbits and men  
Drink up, me sidekicks, yo ho

Yo ho, yo ho, a ranger's life for me.  
We kindle and char and in flame orcs ignite  
Drink up, me sidekicks, yo ho  
We fight for the city, we're really a sight  
Drink up, me sidekicks, yo ho

We're an ancient line of men and people we save  
Drink up, me sidekicks, yo ho  
We fight evil and Saruman, we're really good men  
Drink up, me sidekicks, yo ho

Yo ho, yo ho, a ranger's life for me.  
I'll rescue the world, became a great king**  
**Drink up, me sidekicks, yo ho  
Aye, and we're liked by most men and elves  
Drink up, me sidekicks, yo ho  
Yo ho, yo ho, a ranger's life for me.


End file.
